I have a friend who lost his wife in a car accident at this time of year.  They had argued before she left the house and when she called desperate to reach him before she died, he didn’t answer the phone.  Another friend recently had a miscarriage; her dreams of wearing holiday maternity clothes while anticipating baby’s first Christmas disappeared in an instant.  A woman I know is trapped in a cycle of abuse; she can’t find the “out” door, she just keeps going through the revolving one.

Many of us know someone who is going through a rough time; and the holidays can exasperate it.  Those of us who are happy often don’t know what to do or say; how to be supportive and not accidently cause more pain.

I’ve learned that my attitude towards the person dictates my actions.  Here’s some tips that are working for me:

• concentrate on the possibilities
• listen with a new ear
• lead with trust
• cultivate confidence
• respond, don’t react
• practice reasonable tolerance
• pursue compassion
• fortify your heart
• foster hope
• search out new truths
• cherish the meaning of love

(from the book, When Men Grieve, Elizabeth Levang, PhD)

(Untouched photo by my husband, Bobby Meyer, RB Meyer Photography, All Rights Reserved.)